MINNESOTA REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE Jason Lewis: “OWNING SLAVES IS A PERSONAL CHOICE. IF YOU DON’T WANT ONE, THEN DON’T OWN ONE.  how does somebody else owning a slave affect me?   IT DOESN’T.”

At this very moment, the Republican Party is hoping to convince Americans they aren’t as backwards as some of their policies seem, a Minnesota congressional candidate is literally advocating for America to return to the way it was before the Civil War.

Jason Lewis hates the government.   That’s why he’s running for Congress – to kill it from within.   He hates the government so much, in fact, that he has written an entire book that explores the idea that banning the owning of slaves represents one of many examples of government tyranny.

In his book, “Power Divided is Power Checked: The Argument for States’ Rights” Lewis also wrote that President Abraham Lincoln “exploited the issue” of slavery, adding the Civil War, or what Lewis called the “War Between the States,” had “more to do with secession” than slavery.

But Lewis takes the argument much further than simply pretending the Civil War was about “states’ rights”.   He views laws against owning people as symptomatic of a government run amok.   His theory: If (white) people want to own (black) people, then it should be up to them. (Presumably, the would-be slaves have no say in the matter.) In the “bonus commentary” in Lewis’ recently released audiobook, he remarks:   In fact, if you really want to be quite frank about it, how does somebody else owning a slave affect me?   It doesn’t.   If I don’t think it is right, I won’t own one, and people always say ‘well if you don’t want to marry somebody of the same sex, you don’t have to, but why tell somebody else they can’t.    Uh, you know if you don’t want to own a slave, don’t.   But don’t tell other people they can’t.

CHARACTERS:

Kelly:

Iris: 

Cassy:  

Ed:  

Leo:   

Carolyn:  

Mike:

At a dinner party hosted by Iris and Kelly.   Kelly begins the conversation:

1. Kelly:  Have you heard that a Minnesota Republican candidate for congress, Jason Lewis says that owning slaves is a personal choice.
2. Edith:   How does somebody else owning a slave affect me?   It doesn’t.
3. Kelly:   Have you no empathy?   Jason Lewis is not a human being: he has no empathy, no compassion.   If he can say that he can own slaves, what does that say about us? 
4. Iris:   I think everyone should be allowed to own male, white, Republican, Christian slaves if they want to.
5. Cassy:   Today's Repugnant Republicans are really sick! If they prove to rule I want him as a slave... in heavy chains...!   Pass the milk of human kindness, please.
6. Ed:   Sadly, I think Conservative Republican Congressional Candidate Jason Lewis speaks for top tier of the Republican Politicians, who are also racists. Think of Flint, Michigan, a predominately black community governed by an absentee Republican governor.   Flint, Michigan equals Republican Family Values.
7. Leo:    I've stopped thinking how unbelievable Republican wackos are. They have become commonplace, as if there's a competition for highest degree of stupidity and repulsiveness among Republicans.   Can we change the subject?
8. Carolyn:   I think my husband, Leo, is correct... hardly the subject for dinner.   However, I will say that this man is an ass with the intelligence of a pea.  Today’s Republicans are scary.   I am amazed that people are voting for them.   They need to be totally ignored.
9. Kelly:   Most politicians are slaves owned by big corporations, who, according to Justice Roberts in his ‘Citizens United’ opinion, are people.    Probably why Lewis sees no harm in this.
10. Leo:   So now the Republican Party says that "personal choice" overrides everybody's basic right to NOT BE a slave. 
11. Ed:   Is there a Republican out there who is not insane?  Or a in reality TV show?   Or a clown in a circus?   Save America vote for a Democrat!
12. Carolyn:   Let me remind him that abortion is legal in America.   Slavery is not!
13. Kelly:   If the outlawing of slavery is government overreach according to Lewis, and the owning of slaves is a personal choice, presumably it is also a personal choice to exercise a combination of 1st and 2nd amendment rights to tell the slave owner just what you think of his treatment of his fellow men.....
14. Cassy:   Give this clown the boot!   Hahaha!   No one in our country should own slaves!   It's desperate economies that allow such talk!   Vote for BERNIE!   He'll change that!   Pass the Boston baked beans?   Mmmm...  Iris (anti-R)   send me your recipe... delicious! 
15. Ed:   That's why the GOP wants to reduce all workers to slave status. Kill unions and reduce the minimum wage to zero, and they pay their own room and board.
16. Iris:  I think everyone should be allowed to own ignorant small minded republicans as a house pet if they chose.   Frankly, I’d have a hard time having to listen to the constant harangue of lies and distortion of  President Obama’s successes.   This is what is wrong with this country there are still a lot of ignorant bigots who still sit in a plush office with that knowing smirk.   Besides I could use some of help in the kitchen.   Kelly’s all thumbs out there... on purpose... me thinks.   
17. Kelly:   Actually I’m a pretty fair breakfast cook.
18. Iris:   That’s because I refuse to cook your breakfast... it’s called (hanging quotes in the air)  “your-self-survival”.... you like your fried breakfast.   I notice you still haven’t mastered the art of self-help-clean-up though.
19. (All laugh.)
20. Ed:   Michael.   We haven’t heard from you yet... been stuffin’ yer face...
21. Mike:   Well, I’ve been sitting here quietly enjoying your delicious meal, Iris...  and considering when I should jump in or even if I should... You shouldn’t be surprised to hear that I'm in Trump’s corner... 
22. All in concert:   ...not surprised....   
23. ...been wondering why...
24. ...you were so quiet...
25. Mike pro-R:   He won't take money from the special interests...  
26. Ed:   Not yet anyway.
27. Mike:  All the politicians are bound to their donors....He knows how to get things done...  I'm glad the GOP is scared of him...  Hillary is as corrupt as they can get...  Bernie is offering free stuff that will never happen...  The only choice is Trump...  He definitely knows how to save money on a political campaign...  
28. Iris:   Yeah... Like Romney did... until he felt the pinch... 
29. Ed:   Trump isn't taking any money?   Really?    How do you think he gets his projects built?    Do you think he spends his own money?    He has investors and you don't think there are special favors being negotiated?    Come on and if you were informed and educated yourself about Bernie you would know he's not giving away free stuff.    He's making those wealthy people that don't pay taxes, start paying their fair share.    With minds like yours America will never be great again.   Trump doesn't care one bit about you and you ‘murica, he only cares about himself.    How do you feel about his expensive clothes being made in Mexico, China and Bangladesh while he whines about how foreign countries are taking all our jobs?    He’s another Republican hypocrite!
30. Mike:  He knows how to hire the best minds around... as a veteran I believe he would listen to our Military leaders and not fire them all like Obama has...
31. Leo:   I’m a war vet...
32. Mike:   (Interrupting.)   ...which Civil War... 
33. Leo:   Now wait a damn minute...  The VA has treated my wounds, seen and unseen... We Marines never want to go to war... but you and your kind ...Trump: “...would bomb the shit out of them...”,  Ted Cruz:  “We ought to bomb them back to the Stone Age.”... want to send my granddaughter off to some foreign country and as Ted Cruz has said... he would “carpet bomb  them into oblivion...” .   Decent Christians, they are...  would rather indiscriminately bomb civilians... non-combatants ... contrary to Geneva Conventions...  leading to collateral damage in geometric numbers ... 
34. Mike:   In any event... I'm waiting on the TRUMP yard signs I bought on the internet...
35. Leo:   You had better find your own yard... Michael!   You, Edith and Caroline are homeless now.   Vacate my property within 24 hours. 
36. Leo:   (Standing.... continues )  Carolyn.   Iris... I’m sorry, but I’ve lost my appetite.   
37. Ed:    Leo... he’s yer son...
38. Mike:   But ...my rent is paid until... Our law partnership...?
39. Leo:   It never happened...  
40. Mike:   But...
41. Leo:   Sue me!
42. Carolyn:   Wait!   I think I should have something to say about this.   Michael Francis...
43. All:   Uh - oh... 
44. Ed:    (Aside.)   Here it comes Michael Francis...
45. Carolyn:   Your father left me in 1954 to go off to fight a war in a country he knew nothing about... a strange culture with a strange language... a war he didn’t want to be a part of.   But his Commander-in-Chief called him and his unit up to fight.   I was alone.   I didn’t know I was pregnant with you.   When he came back to us, you were not yet two years old.   He was a total basket case.   (Pause.)   War rips and tears family’s apart.   The VA helped put us back together.   Your government, the one you want to dismantle, provided us the means to buy the house you were born in... the one you are living in now, it paid him, as a GI benefit, to go off to Yale to study law.   That’s how we were able to send you to Yale, too.   I think you owe us an apology.   You used your god-given talent and supposed intelligence to side with a political party that is acting as if it is a plutocratic dictatorship. 
46. Mike:  (Standing.)   Excuse me, Iris and Kelly.   I have packing to do.   Thank you for inviting me.   Edith... let’s go.
47. (Mike and Edith exit.   There is an overly long period of silence.)
48. Kelly:   Sorry, folks.... that did not go well...
49. Ed:   Who knew?
50. Cassy:   This is not a surprise.   They are all like this...  They just learned to keep it hidden... to do more damage.   In the Republican Club halls it’s called “Right Wing Terrorism”.   They are a far bigger threat to this nation than ISIS.   I think we tried to keep it hush hush, that is until Donald Trump came along, now they are all running for office on hatred and bigotry...  and the world is watching!
51. Carolyn:   (Pushing her chair back and standing.)   If you don’t mind, Iris, Leo, I think it’s best we go home.   Iris, your dinner was delicious.   It appears the Republicans destroyed the atmosphere here, too.   Although they will never hear... or for that matter admit ...
52. (Everyone rises to see the older couple out.   They sit in silence.)
53. Ed:   This is the kind of ignorance that's becoming socially acceptable, thanks to the Republican Party & "Fox Noise"!   They offer excuses like "People are just too easily offended nowadays".  That is total bull crap!
54. Cassy:   And to think it all began over a discussion about slavery.   I have to wonder what their take would be on white slaves owned by African Americans, Hispanics or Muslims.
55. Iris:  The only way we will ever go back to the days of slavery will be if the nutty Republicans win the ignorant masses over with their hateful, negative propaganda.   Only the slaves won't be black this time, they'll be all colors... all races, ... but they will never be part of the 1% .
56. 
    
57. The End.