“Hello, Donny!”, by Thomas M. Kelly, Copyright 2016
My scenario of the telephone call Billy made to Trump at the beginning of the political run is true: The dialogue is mine... not so true... but could be...
- Donny: Hello there, Billy!
- Billy: Hello, Donny!
- Donny: Billy, my old buddy... how are you?
- Billy: I'm fine...
- Donny: You’re still my best bud, aren’t you?... sure you are!
- Billy: Donnie, why did you call?
- Donny: I didn’t call .. you called me, Billy... you called me.
- Billy: Must have been a butt dial.... anyway as long as I have you on the phone... Hill and I were talking to Barack, and we were wondering why you're not running for the Republican nomination?
- Donny: I really don't have time Billy, what with all my investments and golfing.
- Billy: You have to be a busy man to keep track of your money and your game. Right?
- Donny: You are so right Billy, but thanks for asking. However... do you really think I should run?
- Billy: Donny, with all your experience on your reality television show and your affinity for the high jinx you would be a popular candidate.
- Donny: You really think so?
- Billy: Yes. When you announce your candidacy the media will be all over you. You are a wealthy man you could run without a super pac. Start by denouncing Barack's policies...
- Donny: ...but I like some of Barack's policies... you know... avoid clashing with Wall Street... big business... this country was founded on capitalism ... big money...
- Billy: I know, I know all too well... you're preaching to the congregation... find another congregation... you're an entertainer now... how do you think a poor comedian like Rush Limbaugh made it so big?
- Donny: I like Rush...
- Billy: Me, too. Regrettably, I don't get to listen to him often... but you're missing the point... He used Rio Linda, California, a so-called hotbed of conservative Republicans to skyrocket his radio career in Sacramento.
- Donny: Do you think I could do the same? I love entertainment television... it's the immediate audience response that propels me... "You're fired!" I love it!
- Billy: Now you've got it. As I say attack Barack and all his gay policies... his female appointees to the Supreme Court... et cetera.
- Donny: I think I can do this. I have the money... the conservative redneck audience...
- Billy: Barack is about to bring into the United States, Syrian immigrants...
- Donny: I not sure I like that Billy. It's a dangerous road. Muslim immigrants will change the pro-Christian institutions... they're terrorists...
- Billy: ....and Barack isn't doing much to stop the Mexicans from crossing the border to take all the jobs...
- Donny:... Yeah... Mexico is sending all the drug dealers, rapists... criminals... all of them.
- Billy: Well, Donny, I have to go... Hillary is on the other line. I really hope you reconsider.
- Donny: I wish I could, but other duties call... talk to you later. Oh, and by the way thanks for coming to my wedding... and the gift... we use it every day.......
- Billy: I forgot what we gave you... What was it?
- Donny: To tell you the truth, Billy... I think it was a gold plated toaster... don’t quote me on that... I’d have to ask Ivanka... I mean... Melania... it’s getting hard to keep them in chronological order... much like yourself..
- Billy: Never divorced... just a few indiscre..
- Donny: ...at least I was able to buy their silence... even the ones I grabbed... heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh... ououououyeee... That was fun... they love it... no matter how much the got outta’ me...
- Billy: Donny... this is not a secure line...
- Donny: Oh, yeah... you government employees aren’t as rich as me... and believe me I’m rich... I have so much money... anyway to get back to the... I think it was this gold plated Dilonghi espresso maker... I have it at my elbow as we speak... which espresso flavor do you like rich cappuccino? I am addicted to the Mocha with a double splash of whipped cream... I have to slow down or get a new tailor... See you on the trail Billy...
No comments:
Post a Comment